Not knowing – yet
I decided to take a risk and write about something no one wants to hear about. But, I see a purpose in doing that because there is a value in not knowing (yet).
Almost everything in our way of living involves thinking and requires clarity and knowing. From our early life, we are all trained and prized to know, be clear, certain and correct, and, along the way, we become impatient with anything vague, hard to describe, or not there yet. Our conceptual minds continuously produce an ongoing stream of words, images, ideas, perceptions, and theories. That internal narrative is like having a reporter telling the story about our experience that is turned off only when we are asleep (and sometimes keeps us awake!). Although that aspect is certainly helpful and has its place, the difficulty comes when we believe it is the only way of knowing.
We often struggle when we come to a problem that requires a new direction, a change whose steps are ambiguous, and doing something we don't know how to do. If what we already know was enough, we would not have a problem in the first place… More is needed… Our problems usually come with some hard-to-understand, uncomfortable situations, full of confusing information and mixed feelings, and a sense of being stuck. How can we use our minds to connect to the present body awareness instead of guessing, assuming, doubting, and going in circles? Well, the Focusing process gave us simple and straightforward steps. Focusing is re-learning and finding that natural skill and re-connecting the mind, body and spirit in one whole again.
When we dare to lay aside our assumptions and cherished beliefs, we first open up to the possibility of working with what is instead of against it. Then, we come to the edge of knowing and dare to step over and be with the not-knowing, a space that is empty of specific content yet full of fresh possibility, a space where 'more' comes. To do this, to take a risk and make our first step towards accepting what is and how we are, we have to be brave.
The Focusing method, or felt-sensing practice, is not for the faint-hearted. It is for those who can muster the courage to care and connect, no matter what comes. It is for those who can make intuitive leaps and sit in the silence of 'not knowing', waiting for something 'more' to emerge. It is a practice for the brave, the courageous, and the big-hearted souls.
Focusing teaches us to simultaneously think, sense, feel and stay open to new possibilities, to a 'more', like poets, artists, and scientists on the edge of breakthroughs. We learn to dip below the surface of known and reach beyond thinkable, to stay open in a paradox of being and becoming, in the flow of desired change that gives birth to 'new us'. First, we learn to pause and re-connect with the richness of our present moment's experience and gently go below the reactive surface level into the deep layer of primary, core feelings, needs and longings. Every layer has to be 'unlocked' with a symbol like a particular key that opens the door to go further. We have to wait for a symbol to form itself and then try it back if it 'fits'. And like with the keys, we sometimes try a few until the one 'clicks' and the door opens. That subtle or distinct opening is always felt in the body as a shift. Something inside changes… With every step, we go forward more in touch with what is authentic and alive in ourselves.
Focusing is not just a method but a journey of self-discovery and integration. It opens the door to the subtle currents of being that guide us toward what is true, good, and beautiful for us in our own lives. It gives a voice to something in us that didn't have a voice before and unifies us into a better integrated 'whole' with acceptance and kindness. It is a practice that fosters a deep sense of connection and integration within ourselves.